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  1. Everyone you ever meet forgets your name
  2. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  3. Eat cat food
  4. The only computer you can use from now on is an iPad
  5. Be the oldest person on earth
  6. Find one cockroach every time you open your toilet
  7. Eat a soft, mouldy, sharp cheese
  8. The Great Lakes cease to exist
  9. Everything look like claymation to you
  10. Blow you nose with sandpaper for a week


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