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  1. Only eat hot-pockets for the rest of your life
  2. Live as a monster
  3. Become a werecow
  4. All liquids taste unbearably disgusting to you, except whiskey
  5. You are immortal and invincible but you become a solid rubber ball one foot in diameter. You can bounce and roll yourself around and you can speak but you can't otherwise manipulate your surroundings.
  6. Every conversation you have ends awkwardly
  7. Boiling water teleports into your digestive system and entirely fills it. One second later it disappears.
  8. Nicholas Cage was god-emperor of the world
  9. Be servant to the poor
  10. Drink from the toilet bowl


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