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  1. Have perpetually dry lips that no amount of lip balm will help
  2. Have the guts of a boiling hot pizza pop squirted into each of your ears
  3. Have a comically oversized shampoo bottle for a leg
  4. Have diced habernero peppers rubbed in your eyes
  5. Be only able to see out of eyes on the back of your head
  6. Wet yourself every time someone says the word "chair"
  7. Fall desperately in love with someone who can't stand you
  8. You become a billionaire but your 5 closest friends die
  9. Every body of fresh water with more volume than a kiddy pool and less volume than the Great Lakes comes to life bent on human destruction. They can move around and attack similar to a typical blob monster.
  10. Have the face of the cat


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