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  1. Anyone you touch immediately loses all their hair
  2. Be a centaur, but you can't directly control your lower body; it acts on its own like a normal horse would.
  3. Have jellyfish for fingers
  4. Everyone always talks to you in baby talk
  5. Have paws and never be able to pick up anything
  6. Chaperone a middleschool dance forever
  7. Always be looking for the dearest thing to you and never be able to remember where it is
  8. Have no thumbs
  9. An unkillable spirit of vengeance keeps striking you repeatedly with an ordinary tablespoon. Each blow is only a minor annoyance, and you can run away from it for brief periods of time, but it will always follow you and will never, ever stop.
  10. Everyone thinks that you're actually a dog and treats you like one


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