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  1. Live in the 90's forever
  2. Be named Popeye
  3. Whenever you touch a living animal of mouse size or larger you turn into a copy of that animal.
  4. Watch every single episode of "King of the Hill" back to back
  5. The streets are paved with cheese
  6. Whenever you hear the word "chair" you must shout "TABLE" at the top of your lungs
  7. Alien space bats scoop up your home city and deposit it on the shallow continental shelf several hundred miles offshore from Florida. Since they're benevolent, they turn everyone brought along with it into merfolk.
  8. Most plants are carnivorous, though only a few species are capable of catching something human-sized.
  9. You gain a health bar with 10 hearts. If your heath ever reaches 0, you die - but it is impossible to die in any other way. The most damage any one event can cause you is 6 hearts. However minor things (anything as painful as stubbing your toe) all do 1 heart of damage. Injuries in between these two extremes do a proportionate amount of damage. You regenerate 1 heart per week. Your injuries heal as the hearts of damage they caused heal.
  10. Break you favorite plate/glass/vase/breakable object


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